I have a question: Why in this line: "Putting his trust in his comrades after he was given a second chance to get things right in the bowels of his enemy" do you use the word "bowels?" Because I don't know the back story, I don't know if he was literally in the bowels/entrails of his enemy or was he just in the midst of his enemy? The sentence seems awkard to me if it is only that he is in the midst of the enemy.
Otherwise, I like it. The hero has doubts. Way to show them, and how his beloved helps him overcome them.
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Query on word choice in "Leap..."
Date: 2008-03-02 05:57 pm (UTC)Otherwise, I like it. The hero has doubts. Way to show them, and how his beloved helps him overcome them.
-Spelunker