Thanks, I'm happy that my non-fan friends were able to follow it with just what they know from me blathering on. There is a paragraph I'm not happy with and it may be the one you mean. I haven't had a chance to look at your suggestions yet.

Oh, Trevor is eating my brain and I finally found a reference pic for Lomion. I plan on posting some meta stuff about the process I'm going through to build the backstory for Trevor in particular soon. I haven't decided if I'll do that here, at WASIF or both.